About “OnStar(tm)” (5 Aug 11)

Hey Summer!!!  Good morning to you!!! 

Yeah, my new car is equipped with OnStar ™.  It features a built-in speakerphone.  I have a love-hate relationship with it.

First equipped on selected GM cars back in 2002, OnStar™ ‘s speakerphone is SUPPOSED to make life easier for the driver.  It was supposed to prevent driver errors and accidents caused by usage of one’s cell phone while driving.  You simply press the button on the rear-view mirror or near the top edge of the front windshield (as in my vehicle’s case), and you’re connected via satellite to the OnStar™ Calling Center.  The recorded prompts tell you to place a call, get updates on traffic conditions, get the correct time – that kind of thing which was originally before Garmin and GPS car screens.  Unlike GPS, however, callers can be connected to a human voice (probably sitting in that same location as that “Peggy” character from the Discover™ card commercials !) and can receive turn-by-turn directions to a favorite spot (Starbucks™, for instance *smiling*).

Sounds nice, right.  You pay $10 a month for this, along with a calling plan which is worse than T-Mobile’s.  I am determined to use this feature ONLY WHEN I can’t get signal from my cell phone and ear piece.  Like when I’m driving between the cafeteria here at Arnold and the hotel.

When you call someone, you do so in one of two annoying methods.   When the OnStar™ prompts you as “ready”, you simply say “dial” and give the complete ten-digit phone number (area code+exchange+number=ten digits) – without stopping.  The stupid computer frequently screws up the phone number so you have to repeat the number as many as four times before it responds with repeating the correct numbers before dialing your call.  Great if you’ve got a great memory for numbers! 

I don’t.

I’m lucky if I remember my OWN phone number, let alone trying to dial someone else’!   So I don’t use THAT FEATURE unless I’m actually sitting in a parked, off the road location and have had some coffee to calm me down.  The automation keeps screwing the numbers up after I slow myself, looking down at the card, slip of paper, or cell phone screen thinking “if I give the numbers slower, maybe it will “hear” the numbers correctly.”  NOT! 

The other annoying method is the lesser of two evils.  When the OnStar™ prompts you as “ready”, you simply say “Call Summer” for instance.  What it’s SUPPOSED to do is to repeat my prompt (“Summer”), allow me to confirm “yes” and then dial your number which I’ve painstakingly “programmed” into my “address book” using the previous annoying method.  Sounds really high-speed, right? *shaking head violently from left to right and back again*

What it does in REALITY, however, is to give me Sheila Childers’,  Maxcine Beach’s, Chris Sims, or my Dad’s prompt – none of which SOUNDS like “Summer”.  Not even on a good day; and constantly repeat “is this the party you want?” to my “NO!”, only for it to politely respond “Sorry. My fault. (yeah, you’re frigging right! I want SUMMER!) Let’s try this again”  and we go back to the main prompt, whereby I urge the car to “Call Summer!”

I’ve got it partly trained however.  Whenever I call Liz Reid, I tell the car to “Call LIBBIE!” and it amazingly calls her on the first “speak”.   Why? Because it’s the inflection in my voice which starts low and end up almost screaming at the automation “LibBIE!”   Maybe I need to do that with you and everyone else on my voice address book!

I’ve NEVER had this problem with any car equipped with Bluetooth™.  In those cars and vans, my cell phone’s address and dialing book is automatically “transferred” to the car/van, and when I want to place a call, I simply “dial” the name and it calls the number.  This is a bit dangerous because one has to take their eyes off from the roadway for a brief period of time to “dial” the right letter combination in order to “dial” the number.  Not bad if you’re doing this in the United States with its 50 to 65 miles per hour speed limit.  You’re taking your life into your hands, though, if you’re fiddling with locating “S” and then “U” before finding your name while traveling down the European autobahn at 160 kilometers an hour (roughly 88 miles an hour)!

OnStar™ allows you to keep your eyes ON the roadway, even though you get frustrated enough while attempting to use this service to simply say “SCREW THIS!”, pick up the cell phone and hope that one has a good signal and place the call to the person yourself – not “saving” anything.

Isn’t technology FUN?

Talk with you soon!

(OnStar™ is a registered trademark and service mark of General Motors.  I’m in love with their cars, trucks, vans and quality service.  I’m NOT in love, however, with OnStar™ though it may someday automatically call for emergency services when I’m in an accident.  Other trademarks are of various firms and services with no infringement nor malice intended – at least not on THIS day!)

Mike